Lack Self Esteem? - Find it Here!

The meaning of self esteem is "a confidence and satisfaction in oneself." Self esteem harbors both self acceptance and self confidence and is an important component for emotional health and well being.

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, defines self esteem as:

1- Confidence in our ability to think and in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life; and
2- Confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feelings of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.

Use these steps to build your esteem and gain the ability to cope with life's challenges, and feel happy, worthy and deserving.

Firstly it's important to know that millions of people around the world have this same issue in common. In no way are you alone. You have a right to be on this planet as much as anyone and your being here has a purpose.

Secondly, you have the right to make a mistake. You have heard it before, "to err is human." Most people learn from experience - the experience of getting it wrong and learning from it in order to get it right at the next opportunity.

Behavior

No one mistake no matter how bad defines who you are as a person. A PART of your behavior does not define the WHOLE of you.

The Importance of You

Going through life thinking you're not important and your thoughts have no weight or value is destructive and totally invalid. Tell yourself every day that your thoughts, ideas and self carry weight in this world and that you are just as good as anybody else. Be consistent and vigilant in this process.

10 Minute Meditate State

Take 10 minutes out of everyday to sit alone, in the quiet, with no interruptions. During this time you do nothing but sit comfortably, close your eyes and allow your mind to consume feelings of peacefulness, positive thoughts, and a successful happy you. Picture yourself feeling positive and acting positive.

Reveal the Positive

Dwelling on things that go wrong are totally non productive and cause further stress and anxiety. A person who lacks self esteem is likely to have more stress and anxiety and then a person with self confidence.

When you take on a task or venture into something immediately write down the things you did well and things that went well. No need to write down the things that went wrong, your mind wont let you forget those. Go back and read it. It will reveal to you your accomplishments and how your efforts shown through. This is a very valuable and necessary "to do" and is highly advised to increase self esteem and gain a positive outlook on your accomplishments no matter how big or small.

The High 25

Make a list of 25 things you like about yourself. You can include something good you did once, no matter how big or small. Your characteristics. Your attributes, etc

Keep the list in view and everyday add one more thing to the list.

Criticism Crunch

It is vital that you learn to deal with criticism, both receiving it and giving it. It is a part of life and although in many instances it should be taken seriously, it should also be considered a helping hand along life's road. You can turn them into learning experiences and see them in a positive light rather then darkness.

Receiving Criticism

1. Do not interrupt when receiving the criticism. Stay calm.
2. If the information is valid, agree and apologize for the inconvenience
3. If you are not clear on what is being said ask for clarification. This will show that you care about the situation and need to be clear in order to make the necessary changes.
4. If the criticism is not valid, use a pleasant expression and state that you do not agree. Back up your comment with more information.

We all make mistakes in this world. Certainly you are not the exception to this rule. So don't take it so much to heart. Be mature, professional and alert when receiving criticism. You will be positively remembered for it.

Giving Criticism

This is a difficult task to command when you lack self esteem. Practice on a friend just to get the feel of it.

1. Don't procrastinate. If you wait to long before administering the task you will have become too edgy, and stressed. This is likely to cause you to fumble the whole thing up and you wont come across professional and calm but rather stressed, agitated and insecure.
2. Stay calm. Sit down and put on a friendly but firm demeanor.
3. Start by saying something positive, then feed the criticism in. End with something positive.

Remember when I said criticism is one of the ways we learn - from our mistakes. When you are in a position to give criticism it is up to you to help the person to better themselves in what ever area. You sort of take the role of a teacher. Pointing out where the person went wrong and helping them to fix it. You are in an authoritative position.

Saying "No" without Guilt

In order to value yourself more one of the things that must come to a halt is doing things you don't really want to do. You have to practice this technique as much as you can. When you begin to see that it isn't such a big deal you will find it easier. Your friends will still remain your friends and your loved ones will still love you!

1. Use the word "I." For example: "Sorry, I can't make it. Have to get to the store. Next time though." Or, " Sorry, I cant drive you today but perhaps tomorrow."

A poor self image can prevent a person from setting and achieving goals that could better their life, personally, professionally and financially. A poor self image contributes highly to poor relationships and poor parenting. However, there are many many ways to fix this issue all you have to do is reach out, and do what needs to be done.


Make sure your child is growing up with a healthy self image. Healthline: Self Esteem
You will also find a list of books on the subject of self esteem.

Practical Exercises to Boost Self Esteem