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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Reunite with Your Ex – 5 Tools for a Smooth Landing

A couple getting back together is a process and usually requires that one or both of them show a change in their behavior or learn how to be a better partner. But in the meantime, you want to reunite with your ex but you’re not sure where to start and where to go from there.

Let me show you where to start, with the tools you need to learn and use, as well as direct you where to go from there.

Tool #1: Humility

There may be quite a few things in your mind that your partner did in the relationship that you think caused their own unhappiness or caused you to float away. Whichever the situation, humility will get your foot back in the door.

If you have already had the big argument, the slamming of doors, the walking scenario then chances are you may not be talking for a few days. Let the few days go by, then pick up the phone calmly and immediately say, “I didn’t call to fight just to say I am sorry. I don’t want our relationship to end in this fashion and I want us to be friends after sometime and always know each other.” Even if she dumped you, say this same thing.

Speak calmly; do not allow any blame to take place between the two of you. Say goodbye and tell them you will call them soon to say hello if they don’t mind.
This opens things back up and begins to pull away from the sour taste of a break up. It puts you in touch, leaves the door open to keep you there, and keeps things on level ground. It also gives you as a man the opportunity to show another of side you which is that you have humility, grace, and a real love and respect for the relationship and knowing her. Don’t think she won’t hang up the phone and think to herself, “Hum, that was nice.”

Tool #2: Your Ability to “Make Believe”

From the time you hang up that phone, put yourself in a state of “Make Believe.” Make believe you are okay and that tomorrow is another day. Rest you mind on the fact that you were the one between the two of you that closed the doors (but really left them open) with maturity, respect, dignity and care. There is something to be said for being the bigger person and it is rarer in men than in women, when it comes to relationships.

Make believe to your friends, and her friends, both of your families and even to yourself that all is well and will be well. Go out with friends and family, do things that interest you, find a new hobby. Just don’t let anyone see you on the outside how you may be feeling on the inside. Mask your pain. This will wither back to her making her see you as a put together man, that can cope well with change and pain, and at the same time is a friend.

This is a powerful tool for use to reunite with an ex. Women are drawn to men that can cope well in tough situations and be supportive, positive structures in the times of trouble. Not to mention, if you were the one who was dumped, all the more magical these tools are for you. It is hardly common for a man to have these qualities to begin with, much less after he is dumped. At the same time you are doing this, you will also be keeping mild contact and just being a friend, with a silent ulterior motive.

Tool #3: Tuned In

When you do talk to her forget about yourself, don’t talk about your going ons. She will naturally wonder what you have been up to. Share a little with her by modestly telling her a few things here and there. Leave the details of your life and outings out of it. Show interest (Don’t overdo it) and be a positive part of her ups and downs, hopes and dreams, and wants and needs.

This is usually the part of any relationship that goes sour very fast. Bring it back into your friendship with her, use it wisely and it will take far on the road to relationship recovery.
As she talks to you more she will naturally feel some jealousy that you are coping so well and will wonder if maybe she didn’t make a mistake. This will happen as you put your tools into action.

Tool #4: Honesty

Good ole honesty! There is an honesty that exists between female friends, in which they trust one another to tell them the truth about certain things when they are asked. It is honesty in this form that high value in friendships and is a plus point for a man to have with a woman.
For example: When a woman asks her friends how a certain outfit looks on her. Or, if someone is accusing her of being selfish, she may ask a friend she trusts and respects if she feels that is true about her.

Now I know you are saying to yourself, “You have to be kidding me! This is not going to help reunite with an ex at all!” No joke. It may seem awkward, as it does even between girlfriends, but if you do it gently, with finesse you will really be making a statement. Even if she gets upset it is not likely to be for long. You can talk her down by saying to her that it isn’t in a bad way but someone who wants to say something about her could say that. Remind her she has lots of friends so it certainly cannot be that bad of selfishness. This is adding support after hard honesty to keep it real, but keep it loving, as though you are a true friend that wants the best for her. Show your support and annoyance at the person saying this about her. Even if you are in hot water it won’t be for long, you will have a built a nice foundation for the relationship using your new tools. They allow for a more open communication and easy to get over upset.

Tool#5: A Sense of Humor

Still the biggest misconception by men, a sense of humor easily surpasses good looks. It tops the list, and although a sense of humor does not show on you, once it shows its face to a woman, a man is a shoe-in for more conversation, a lighter touch to things, and a sparkle between the two of them. The ability to make anyone laugh is truly believed to be a gift. When a woman thinks a man is funny and makes her laugh, it’s like she is getting a little gift every day. She may not voice it like this but she feels it, loves it and comes to miss it when it is not around.

You don’t have to take lessons or go all out to change who you are but learn to be a bit funny, using jokes, funny stories and even funny facial expressions. Make things lighter when they are heavy (don’t overdo it) and always find the brighter side of things no matter how dark they may seem to her.

With these tools you get closer to your ex through a natural channel, keeping the lines open, stay friends and build on that relationship. Through this you may find the two of you go out and share a casual dinner or lunch or go to a movie. You may notice a bit of jealousy as well. No matter the little shining lights you see at the end of the tunnel, keep your tools well attached to your belt, don’t lose use of them and don’t drop the ball that you are trying to get her back. Your new born friendship with her is your newly built relationship, and the first light of your quest to reunite with an ex.

To go from here you need to seek out a plan or system for turning the key and opening the door further toward your goal. The most successful plans are the ones that are versatile supporting various couple types, nationalities, religious backgrounds and problem level. Their initial introduction should give you easy to understand information and show a down to earth, simple approach. The author having a personal touch is always nice and can ad flair and interest to your quest.

For recommendation of where to go from here in your quest to reunite with your ex visit
Magic of Making Up

Don't forget to take advantage of the "On the House"
Breaking Up Advice , to help you move on, put a smile on your face and a beat back in your heart.

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