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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Reunite with Your Ex - Happily Ever After the Disaster

Whether you are trying to save your marriage or reunite with your ex, even if the disaster was your doing, the wreck is still salvageable, but what to do with all the broken pieces? How do you put them back together like they were before? You don’t!

Your wreck can be salvaged, but trying to glue the pieces back together to make the same puzzle is not going to help you in the long run. Think of it as something you did that was so outstanding and so great and when you tried to do it again, it just wasn’t the same. When trying to put a broken partnership back together, you must start fresh, with new understandings and new values toward the relationship.

You have to be prepared to:

-Sacrifice for your relationship
-Communicate in your relationship
-Simplify in your relationship
-Be a supportive partner in your relationship

Sacrifice

If you are looking at the other person as the root of the problem, take a close look at yourself. Sometimes your partner causing all the problems is the result of problems you are causing or creating. Or, your behavior or attitude is making matters worse resulting in further agitation in your partner.

Many marriages and otherwise good relationships fall apart due to selfish actions, when one thinks what they do or who they are is what’s important. You have to be able to forfeit parts of yourself for the strength and existence of the relationship. Live as singles or live as a couple – it’s up to you.

Communicate

When a couple has been together for a while and gets used to each other or a married couple becomes engrossed in their careers and raising kids, it is easy to keep negative feelings or problems to themselves. It tends to be easier than having an argument or making their partner uncomfortable or sad.

It may seem unselfish at the time but the truth is you probably just don’t want to be bothered with the headache it might cause, but your headache will be in full motion when your bottled up feelings explode in your face. It won’t be just one or two problems you are having that come out but the entire one’s you bottled up for so long.

Don’t wait too long to communicate the issue in order to resolve it as soon as possible, so as not to add unnecessary pressure to yourself or your relationship.

When you reunite with your ex, make this change immediately. If you are keeping some communication with your ex, or having friendship going on, put this into action now.

Simplify

Don’t make things more complicated than they need to be. Couples tend to do this and most of the time it is because they care so much and want things to be perfect, always. But that is not reality and you are only stretching yourself thin.

Assess what it is that you really need to exist in a partner. Make it simple and don’t try and analyze details of problems too much. Are you making too many demands? Are you engrossed in how you think things should be? Are your expectations to high? Take a step back and look – are you making things more complicated? Why? Isn’t life already complicated enough?

Respect

Respect what your partner says, feels and wishes. Treat your partner with respect, no matter how hard it might be, keep trying until you do it without having to try so hard. In the position of trying to reunite with your ex, if it’s truly that hard to have respect for them, you might want to ask yourself if reuniting is the right thing to do.

Support

When you truly care about someone it isn’t all that difficult to be supportive. But sometimes, in between the fifty million things to do in life, we become less passionate for the simple feelings people have. When this happens in a relationship it becomes less likely that support is offered when it is needed.

When your partner mentions how tired they are, help out with the chores or left over things to do for the night. When your partner talks about something important to them, listen, add something to the conversation and show that you care. If they need any help, see if there is something you can do. No matter how minute you think the incident or thought is, don’t let it show. Instead show your partner compassion and be supportive in times of need.

It is important that a couple function as a couple and not as a single. If one is functioning on a single level and the other is functioning on a couple’s level, this is sure to complicate matters. Fifty-fifty is simply not good enough for a solid foundation, nor is it enough for both parties to be happy and fulfilled in the relationship. Sacrifice, communication, simplifying, respecting and supporting are the tools to be used when you reunite with your ex to build a winning relationship. If you have not yet reunited with your ex but are friends or at least talking, put these tools into action and see the result they have in how your ex begins to feel about you all over again.

Triniti is a relationship adviser who helps couples fix the broken in their relationship and move on to become first-rate partners for each other. She extends an invitation for you to receive Breaking Up Advice, on the house, to help you move forward, put a smile on your face, and a beat back in your heart. Breaking Up Advice

A recommendation for learning how to Reunite with Your Ex with your ex or mend any relationship with a solid, clear plan that breaks through barriers and shows how to be a first-rate partner and keep a relationship solid and thriving. Best of all - it's a down to earth approach suitable for all couple types and personalities. Guaranteed and cost effective for today's money conscience couples.

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